We're going to find out exactly what that means, and hopefully reassure you coming up next on The Scope. In parenting, there are very few lifeguards—and everyone assumes that you know how to swim. Baby cries...pick it up, cuddle until quiet and contented and put it down. Because there are times when just knowing that someone else has felt the same emotions and experienced similar discouragement makes me feel less isolated and more like a normal human again. The first few weeks I felt like I needed to get out of the house, not because I wanted to, but because I felt obligated to take my oldest kiddo somewhere and keep his day packed. So get help if you need it, everyone needs help. There were dishes to wash, laundry to clean and fold, floors that needed sweeping, a toddler to play and engage with, and a newborn to snuggle and nurture. It was bliss when she finally napped though!Finally, if you can get 5/10 mins to yourself to just do the meditative breathing thing where you clear your mind and just count breaths over your upper lip; to 10 then start again, and gently push away other thoughts; it sounds odd but I found it a bit of a lifesaver. And know that there are other moms out there who have felt totally overwhelmed with their role as a mama, too. You will be more overwhelmed, anxious and exhausted than ever. Anyone else feel this way? And we will make it! I asked my DH to take DD1 out at weekends even for just half an hour into the garden so I could play with DS alone. Learn about: Feeling overwhelmed with a newborn from Helena Heyman,... Related Videos. But it is a discipline you will never regret! But then 4 o’clock rolls around and I’m not sure I’ll be able to make it another hour! Of course you miss that as I bet your ds is a lot of fun like mine. I know what you mean about the spinning. Maybe it’s just me, but when I walk into my bedroom during the day and the sheets are strung about and the bedspread is crumpled up at the end of the bed, I feel instantly irritated. Everyone's a winner. Acknowledge his feelings. As parents we can slow down emotional growth by leaving needs unmet. I remember wanting to write a book entitled so you think you've died and gone to hell, when my dss were little babies! Ds has actually been such a good boy - yes, he's boisterous and into everything but he's not been any different to how a just-turned-two year old should be. What length of time is it reasonable to leave a baby to cry, do you think? But I had to keep reminding myself why I wanted to have another child. Keeping surfaces (tables, counters, dresser tops, etc.) My 5 week old daughter is pretty fussy, I can hardly put her down. l. Making the bed takes about 3 minutes, and this 3 minutes is totally worth the time if it keeps my mind clear and prevents unwanted irritants during the day. So much that we kept going: another sister came 2 years later, followed by my 4th girl 16 months after that. Toddler & Newborn... feeling overwhelmed : Is anyone struggling to juggle a toddler and a newborn? Pretty sure that day is not fun for him, either. FINAL THOUGHTS ON MANAGING WITH A NEWBORN AND TODDLER. The first day I got back into my morning routine with God after my second son was born, I felt a sense of anticipation for the day that I had not felt since his birth. And I feel like a total loser. Oh you poor sausage.I'm watching this thread with interest as my son is 12 months and new baby is due in a month. The newborn days are behind us now, and there are a few things I learned along the way that can help you ease into life with a newborn and a toddler. It was too much. Our nanny has already offered to take out dd so I can spend time with ds but dd's feeding has been so constant (she had problems with her palate so my supply has been affected) that up until now I haven't been able to reliably leave her. So yes, I feel like total loser some days for not being able to get my crap together. Do this over and over and you should notice that gradually she will soothe. DD can still sing all the songs back to back and she is 4.5 now! She is now I'm in a bit of a routine, will be put down to kick about on a mat or sit in her bouncy chair and I can then play with DS. I am usually a fairly calm, maybe even a laid back, parent but the feeling of overwhelm has been, at times, suffocating over the past month. Overwhelmed by how much they all look to me to take the lead. Guilty for feeling bad towards a little baby and people who just wanted to help. Thank goodness it's the weekend and dh is here to share the load. It's awful and you are like every other mum. 8:30 Baby Nap/Toddler Playtime. I used to get my toddler fixed up with an activity and then sit down to nurse the baby. And if you don’t feel like you have anyone to talk to, I’m here! Not a criticism though. If that mom of eight has eight, she has probably been a mom longer than I. Don’t compare yourself with a mom of ten years vs. me, going on 3 years. The truth is, when you bring a new baby home and have a toddler (or a few) at home, you are often a disaster for a good, long while. Plus, Barnhill adds, babies are brilliant at picking up on our emotions. You want (and need) help but can barely wrap your head around what you want much less find the time to ask for it. I wish we'd done it the other way around and sent DD1 so I could have had time with my precious boy. Also, not sure how old your DS is but those usborne books where they need to find the duck on every page were heaven sent to me. My husband recently started working from home, and 4 months ago we moved next door to my parents. But to do this I need to have an assigned place to put that stuff! I just really want to enjoy this time but waking up in the morning to face a new day fills me with dread. During your baby’s nap, this is a good time to do some housekeeping tasks and to give some one-on-one attention to your toddler. The first few weeks I knew I needed whatever sleep I could get, but now it is more important for me to get those few minutes in the morning to myself before everyone else gets up. This is so important, even when it doesn’t feel like it. Avoid big crowds and high-activity settings like the mall or the playground on a sunny Saturday morning. I want him to be constantly impressed by my ability to keep it all together and still be positive, beautiful, happy, and a joy to be around. 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